Supporting Children After Critical Incidents
When something frightening happens in the world, like a critical incident or traumatic event, it can feel overwhelming for everyone. For children of emergency service workers, these moments can feel even closer to home. They may worry not only about what’s happened, but also about the safety of their parent or caregiver.
As a parent, you don’t need to have perfect answers. What matters most is how you show up for your child. Here are some suggestions to support you, in supporting your children:
Start with safety, love, and connection: Children need to feel safe and loved, particularly during uncertain times, this should sit at the heart of every conversation. Create space for them to talk, ask questions, or even just sit quietly with you. Some children will want to talk. Others may draw, play, or express themselves in different ways.
Explain changes they might notice in you “Sometimes after a hard day, I might feel quiet or tired. That’s about work, not you.” Reassure them clearly “It’s not your fault.” Stuart Williams book “its just work stuff” is an excellent tool to support you in these conversations with your children.
Be honest, but age-appropriate: Children don’t need every detail, but they do need the truth. Use simple, clear language and follow their lead:
Ask what they already know
Gently correct misunderstandings
Answer only what they’re asking
If you don’t know something, say so, you can find the answer together. For children of emergency service workers, it can also help to explain what your role involves, how you and your colleagues stay safe, that most days are routine, and don’t always have this level of danger. This helps reduce fear of the unknown.
Acknowledge feelings: It’s natural for children to feel scared, sad, or confused. Feeling heard is often more powerful than being reassured, try naming feelings with statements such as “It sounds like you’re feeling worried.” “That must feel really scary.”
Help them understand how fear works. Our brains are built to detect danger to keep us safe. When something scary happens, it can make the world feel more dangerous than it really is. Children learn what to fear from the world around them, including us.
Avoid unhelpful responses: Reassuring statements such as “nothing bad will ever happen” whilst well intentioned, can increase anxiety over time. Aim for balance “Sometimes scary things happen, but there are people working hard to keep everyone safe.”
Keep routines going: Routine sends the message that life is still safe and predictable. Even when things feel unsettled, keep school, activities and bedtime consistent. It’s also helpful to limit exposure to distressing news, encourage play and stay connected with family and friends.
Watch for signs they may need extra support: Some children will need additional support processing what’s happened. Look out for:
withdrawal from usual activities
ongoing irritability or sadness
changes in sleep or appetite
repeated reassurance-seeking
changes in play or behaviour
If you’re concerned reach out for professional support.
Organisational Support
Wellbeing Services
Wellbeing Services support the mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing of all Northern Territory Police Force (NTPF) and Northern Territory Fire and Emergency Services (NTFES) employees and volunteers and their families.
The team includes psychologists, social workers, occupational rehabilitation advisors, chaplains, peer supporters and administrative staff, working together to provide confidential care, early support, and practical advice. Whether you’re checking in after a tough job, need help managing stress or injury, or just want to talk something through they’re here to help.
Phone: (08) 8995 5422
Website: Your Wellbeing. Your Support. Your Choice. | NT Police, Fire & Emergency Services
Employee Assistance Program
The Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is a free and confidential counselling service for people connected to the Northern Territory Police Force (NTPF) and the Northern Territory Fire and Emergency Services (NTFES).
The EAP may also be available to immediate family of eligible workers. If you are unsure if you are eligible, wellbeing services can help.
The NTPF/NTFES EAP provides short-term professional support for personal or work-related concerns and can be accessed at different points in life and work, depending on what support is helpful at the time.
Sources:
Traumatic events in the media and your children - Black Dog Institute | Better Mental Health
How to talk to your kids about the dangers of policing
How to talk to children about global conflicts | UNICEF Australia
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) | NT Police, Fire & Emergency Services
